How To Write Wedding Vows That Feel Authentic And Unique

12 Tips For Writing Honest & Heartfelt Vows

How To Write Authentic and Unique Wedding Vows

Planning your wedding can be a logistical challenge, but writing your wedding vows shouldn’t be right? You’re supposed to love your better half, be excited to marry them and have no trouble expressing it in front of your closest friends and family right? Wrong?

Writing your wedding vows can be challenging.

Even as a poet it was for me, for some the following reasons:

While planning our wedding, I wasn’t sure how to begin writing my vows. Yes I’m a writer by profession, but it felt different to craft the perfect words to say to the love of my life for the following reasons:

  1. I wasn’t sure where to start.
  2. I didn’t know which parts of our story I should add and which parts I should leave out?
  3. I was concerned about making our guests sit through the longest wedding ceremony in history, and not being sure if I could fit in everything I wanted to say in under 5 minutes.

How do you capture your relationship during your wedding vows?

I wondered, How do I say everything I love about this person in just a few minutes?

I want to help make writing your vows not just easier, but actually inspiring. As a poet, heartfelt (but non-cheesy) quotes and poems helped me find inspiration. Have you considered using love quotes (the non-cheesy but heartfelt and heartwarming kind your guests will remember forever) to inspire you?

Here’s how I used wedding love quotes to help me write my vows:

Step 1: Find inspiration.Pick a quote from this of quotes that inspire(d) you- if you have or find your own, all the better! Don’t copy them (you want yours to be original), but let the idea inspire you.

Tips For Writing Heartfelt & Real Wedding

Step 2: Be funny. Is there a funny moment that’s a key part of your relationship story? Add it in! For us it was a about finding a balance between the seriousness of our commitment and the silliness of our relationship.

Tips For Writing Heartfelt & Real Wedding

Step 3: Be real. Don’t be afraid to get serious and real. Did you struggle or not think you were the marrying type? Did you break up, and didn’t think you’d get back together? Say it. The best vows are real!

Tips For Writing Heartfelt & Real Wedding Vows

Step 4: Be vulnerable. Did you think she wouldn’t go for you? Say so. That’s behind you now!


Step 5: Be unexpected. This couple started their relationship on Facebook, and it’s the opening liner of their vows. Well done by the way!

Tips For Writing Heartfelt & Real Wedding

Step 6: Be yourself. There are really no rules but those you choose. My husband didn’t want anyone’s cell phone interrupting the ceremony, so called the officiant at the beginning of the ceremony (on the altar) to tell him to turn off his cell phone. It was ridiculous but it worked because it defused the cell phone concerns in a quirky way that only he would have thought of. And he came up with it while we were waiting to walk in.


It’s your wedding so do what makes YOU happy, entertained, and moved. The only right choices are the ones that work best for you two.

Now it’s your turn: How is your vow writing going? Any tips for our readers?